I'm gonna be honest with you all. I was so looking forward to doing this, and thought it would give me the boost I needed. Then when I didn't put all the effort in that I should have, and I put on, I lied and said I maintained. I could not feel more ashamed. It's not like spending loads of money, realising I've done wrong and being able to return it all. This is completely different and I have been feeling so ashamed that I lied. I feel I have lost all integrity as a blogger (albeit I'm a very small fish) and that I will have lost all your faith and support.
I have said: W1: Loss, W2: Maintain, W3: Maintain.
What's actually happened: W1: Loss, W2: Gain 1kg, W3: Loss 0.5kg.
I'd have looked ridic coming on here today with a 3rd week maintaining, seeing as this week I have really upped my game. What I said in my last Review here is completely true: exercise is key. The lie was saying I had maintained when in actual fact I'd put on in Week 2. Week 3 wasn't a bad week as I had actually lost half I put on, but of course I couldn't tell you all that as you knew I'd be lying. I couldn't say I was less than I was as then it'd be me forever catching up, and I still didn't want to say I had put on. And so the spiral began....
But I'm stopping it, here and now. No more. Nothing but 100% honest truth. I just hope you guys don't hate me :(
Here are the Week 4 Stats, as of Friday morning (not had chance to blog sooner - I was comatose Friday...)
Weight: 96.7kg/213.2lb/15st3lb
So I have lost the rest of what I put on during Week 2 (not that I can expect you to believe me right now). From next week I shall be photographing the scales as proof, no matter what.
I saw no point in doing my measurements seeing as I'm only a few pounds lighter than when I started. Please feel free to share yours - I will do measurements every 4wks hereafter.
I will not delete the original posts, simply add a paragraph on them, making public my inability to face up to what I do wrong.
I never said this was going to be easy for me - this is huge, I am struggling with this more so than not spending. OH can take away my cards, but unfortunately he cannot stop me eating or (the preferable option for him I'm sure) staple my greedy mouth shut.
All I can say is I'm sorry :(
hey don't feel bad, you've told the truth, and that's all that matters, it's much harder to go back on it and tell us the truth than to tell it at the beginning, therefore i respect you for doing this tonight, and well done on the 0.5kg loss!! xx
ReplyDeleteLike Terri said, don't feel bad. You're doing such a brave thing for putting all this up on the net for the world to see!! I'm definitely not brave enough to do it (hence why I've never disclosed my stats lol!). You're only human & it's normal for us to slip up! Plus as you say, exercise is key and you're doing the right thing by not crash dieting! Chin up girly, we're proud of you!!! Xxx
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing to be ashamed off in putting on! You've taken the first step in realising that your weight is a problem for you and that you want to do something about it, and now you've found a goal to work towards and motivate you. There will be ups and downs, and hopefully the downs outway the ups :)
ReplyDeletePersonally i've put on 1 lb this week. I seem to be having trouble breaking the 12 stone mark, so I hit a point where I thought sod it and had a pig out on pizza - I felt sick afterwards, so hopefully it's a lesson learnt! So here's to being less than 12 stone by next week :)
Good luck for this week!
Aww, bless you.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry at all. I think we all know how hard it is to stick to a diet - if you have a look at my blog you'll see I started and quit Weight Watchers within a week and that was about 3 months ago. I've started at least 4 diets since then and failed every time. I'm starting another one tomorrow (no really...I am).
Hats off to you for 'fessing up, I can imagine how hard that was. Just remember that we are all here to support you and not judge you so don't waste energy feeling bad - put that energy into working towards your goal and you'll get there xx
Thank you guys, seriously it means so much, but I still don't feel I deserve it. Not so much because I put it on in the first place but because I lied about it. It made me feel like crap, but a serious concerted effort was made this week (considering I was on Nights, it was impressive!!)
ReplyDeleteThanks again xxx