I ran away from them as I am fed up with their repetition. I have seen nothing but 96.? and 97.? for two months. Of course this is my own fault but I can still be annoyed with myself right?
I have put on a very poor performance - you put effort in (I really did) and it didn't pay off. I got fed up and back to my old ways which is rubbish, I am well aware.
So why am I whining about this to you all again? Well, I went shopping today. I was in hum (H&M>HM>hum) today feeling a little down about all the gorgeous clothes and thought sod it, I'ma tryin' on. I picked up a dress and went into the changing rooms, with a new pair of leggings in tow. Now, my weight (as I've probs said before) lurks around my legs. They are awful legs, all ming and uber-cellulite, so being this size and wearing a dress with bare legs is a ghastly thought. I tried it on (with the leggings) and really like it. I then took off the leggings are hated it. Hum changing rooms have two mirrors, the big fixed one and the swivelly one for a nice ol' rear view. I hated what I saw. I saw how other people can see me from the side and most goppingly from behind. It made me wonder how OH can say he loves me and worse still, be mildly attracted to me *shudders at the thought*
It was at that deeply depressing moment I thought f*ck this, I am letting myself down. At the end of the day I do give one about what I look like and it reminded me of how much happier I was at 11st. So I have bought the dress, I love it, and what I would love is to wear it bare legged on my mini holiday with OH, my bezzies and our dogs in Cornwall. This is 11th July. That is just over 4 months away. I may not be able to get to 11st as I'd have to lose a stone a month, 3.5lb a week. That's tough going. But I am gonna try my damned hardest.
I was furthermore spurred on when my mum told me about a new weight loss pill coming in from America; I told her I NEED to do this by myself, so I can prove that I can.
Here is the dress:
LET'S DO THIS THING!!!
Yeah I won't say that again, don't worry.